There are four parts to this episode guide:
- Part 1 is a introduction, including the setting, characters, and context of the episode.
- Part 2 is a detailed timeline of the episode’s events.
- Part 3 is my analysis of the episode.
- This is Part 4, a collection of fun extras that I like to call Bonus Features.
Bonus Features
Do crimes.
Double Murder!
Phil Carson kills two people this episode. Yikes!
Although, since he didn’t intend to kill Horatio, I think the first one might actually have been manslaughter.
And, like many a murderer, Phil got into all sorts of mischief trying to cover his tracks… tampering with a crime scene, theft, attempted murder of Jessica, etc.
Blackmail!
It’s Horatio Baldwin’s favorite hobby.
Kidnapping!
Mickey’s coercive tactics cross the line when he kidnaps Jessica at the airport. I have no idea what the concealed carry laws in 1984 Illinois were like, but someone being able to just walk around with a gun like that feels pretty icky, no?
I think that’s most of it.
Jessica’s one for more than a little light trespassing, but not this episode! She does all of her snooping at the House of Horrors at the express invitation of law enforcement.
Tropes, Devices, and Other Conventions
Mystery Tropes
Despicable Victim
No time wasted on subtlety or nuance here. It says “Horrible” right on the label.
Oddly located corpse(s)
While both deaths could resemble grim reality, they don’t. The campy trappings, Horatio’s mock-gothic Office of Horrors and Mickey’s red robe-clad stunt dummy, keep the tone of the episode light.
Suspicious Phone Call
This is one of the sneakiest suspicious phone calls of the series. It’s a persuasive piece of misdirection, because the audience hears the entire conversation.
Murder, She Wrote Tropes
Nay, Tarry
Jessica delays her flight to Kansas City and then returns to Chicago to protect a suspect she believes to be innocent.
Door of Truth
When Bert calls Horatio’s direct line to reach Jessica, Horatio’s phone doesn’t ring. This is the final hint she needs to put it all together.
Bait of Falsehood
Jessica uses a roll of film from a 1983 trip to Spain (yes, that’s going on the canon timeline, thank you for your interest) to fool Phil into thinking he’s found Mickey’s microfilm.
Confess Thyself
In classic MSW style, Jessica appears alone to confront the culprit and elicit a confession. The situation becomes violent, but law enforcement is waiting in the wings.
Smile and Smile
There’s a classic cheesy freeze frame at the end of the episode. This is what it feels like to be able to give away $100,000 on a whim.
File Under “ShowBiz Workplace Catastrophe”
Now that we’re more than a few episodes into the series, some story patterns begin to emerge. The elements of “We’re Off to Kill the Wizard” very closely resemble “Hooray for Homicide” and “Birds of a Feather.” It feels like the writers had a showbiz workplace catastrophe kaleidoscope they kept rotating to produce a number of different episodes using rearrangements of the same set of elements. I’m not complaining. If done well, it can be interesting to see how many ways a single concept can be spun out.
Le Mot Juste
As I mentioned earlier, this is my favorite line of the episode. I think anyone who has spent time with children has felt like this at least once.
By contrast, this line is so clunky it’s almost offensive.
The English Teacher
And now, a somewhat grim grammar lesson from an eminently qualified English teacher:
Did I know this? I’m not sure I knew this. An excellent brick to add to the wall of my education. Dear readers, never stop learning.
A Cat Called Wanda
Mickey dug up dirt on all of Horatio’s main staff members, but we only get the salacious details about one of them. I think it would have made the episode just a little more fun if we learned each of the blackmail backstories, so here’s my take.
Arnold Megrim
We get the most in-episode dirt on Megrim. In 1973, he embezzled from his employer, Felson Brothers Mine and Foundry. Megrim claims it was an associate, Wanda Perlstein, who was responsible.
Although uninterested in pressing charges, law enforcement does a cursory investigation to tie up the loose ends of the case. No person named Wanda Perlstein can be found in association with either Felson Brothers or Megrim.
However, the investigation team does learn from his landlord that Megrim is remarkably devoted to his elderly calico, coincidentally named Wanda …Perlstein.
Laurie Bascomb
Laurie was deeply committed to the anti-war activism of the late 60’s. She fell in with a group of anarchists, many of whom were eventually arrested for acts of domestic terrorism.
Her name is still on the FBI’s most wanted list, which is why she uses Bascomb, her mother’s maiden name, professionally.
Nils Helander
Nils’ story doesn’t actually include blackmail. He’s a communist, and proud of it. During the Red Scare of the 1950’s, he was blacklisted from the entertainment industry.
Horatio Baldwin was simply the only person willing to hire him, and took advantage of that fact.
Phil Carlson
In 1972, four members of a crack commando unit were sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.
The crime? Illicit retention of funds from a military-sanctioned Hanoi bank heist. The fifth member of the commando unit, alias Philip Carlson, was solely responsible for the crime. His special ops training and the stolen money made it possible for Carlson to evade capture for over a decade.
Yeah, you read that right.
Phil Carlson betrayed the A-Team.
The Rest of the Story
After the dust settles, what becomes of the survivors at the House of Horrors?
After his (legitimate) life savings are returned by the police, Arnold Megrim and his cat, Wanda Perlstein, relocate to the warmer climes of Mexico. They live happily ever after.
Two battlefield promotions land Nils Helander at the helm of the House of Horrors. While he lacks Horatio’s macabre vision, he is an efficient and conscientious manager. Publicity from the grisly double murder results in sustained popular interest in the House of Horrors, and Nils keeps it running like a well-oiled machine.
Inspired and sustained by the funds from Erica Baldwin that Jessica signed over to her, Laurie Bascomb writes her first novel. It’s a very steamy romance inspired by Erica Baldwin’s reputed love affairs… and Erica is completely delighted. With her muse’s go ahead, Laurie spins the success of her first book into a popular series, Confessions of an Insatiable Showgirl. Erica insists on modeling for all the cover art and headlining the book tours. The two women set the romance world on fire and rake in millions.
What She Wore
Jessica’s Best Look
None of the wardrobe choices really bowled me over this episode. I think my favorite this episode is Jessica’s Kansas City travel ensemble.
Jessica’s Least Best Look
I came down pretty hard on this dress last episode, so it’s no surprise – I still don’t like it. That being said, this pink prairie dress has two things going for it. First, I really love seeing wardrobe repeats, because I think it gives a character authenticity. Second, in this episode, this dress provides an intentional, stark visual contrast between our hero and the dark and dastardly Horatio.
Best Look Overall
It can be difficult to pair a shirt and tie with a leather jacket, but I think it works really well here, and I think this look has aged… hardly at all.
That tie would have been ubiquitous in 1984, but since neckties are far less common now, it would be a bit of a fashion statement today, even more than the jacket.
Honorable Mention
In the world of MSW, the merry widow always wears black. Erica’s LBD looks great, and she knows it.
How to Wear a Scarf
Jessica gives us a couple of colorful scarves to add to our collection:
Interior Motives
Horatio’s Office of Horrors is a study in contrasts; the room itself is a complete void, populated by a collection of flamboyant faux-gothic decor.
This painting is Aurora Triumphans by Evelyn De Morgan. The dark figure at the lower left represents night, while the light figure on the right is is Aurora (dawn).
The figures in the painting mirror the relative positions of the dark figure of Horatio and the light figure of Jessica in the office… but I’m probably reading too much into it.
Psycho Killer
There is a theory that Jessica Fletcher is the most successful serial killer of all time. Here’s how she might have done it.
Steamed at Horatio for having the audacity to try to hold her hostage in his Office of Horrors, Jessica returns just moments after he lets her leave, overhearing most of Horatio’s conversation with Mickey. Horatio and Jessica argue, and the encounter escalates. It is Jessica who pushes Horatio backwards, causing the deadly blow.
Jessica has by now taken enough lives to know how to keep her cool. She calmly exits Horatio’s office, closing the door behind her. Fortunately, the only witness to the fatal scene was Laurie Bascomb, aspiring writer and J.B. Fletcher fan. Laurie is understandably shocked, but also relieved to be free of her odious, blackmailing boss.
Jessica and Laurie concoct a plan. Laurie will provide Jessica with an alibi by inventing an argument with Horatio later in the evening, by which time Jessica will have returned to her niece’s home. In return, Jessica promises to use her connection to Lt. Detective Bert Donovan to ensure that Laurie is safe from suspicion.
Unbeknownst to the two women, Phil Carlson discovers Horatio’s body after Laurie leaves the office. Worried that he will be the chief suspect, Phil steals Horatio’s blackmail files and executes his plan with the gun, the locked door, and the tampered phones to try to escape suspicion. When the police see through the faked suicide, Phil panics and tries to frame Arnold Megrim for Horatio’s death.
Meanwhile, Jessica decides to eliminate Mickey before he can dig around in her past and find out where all the other bodies are buried. An experienced killer like Jessica knows how to bump someone off with minimal trouble and no incriminating evidence.
Phil’s sloppy attempts to evade suspicion land him at the top of the suspects list. Jessica deftly frames Phil for both deaths, and manipulates him into desperately trying to shoot her in front of a bunch of cops.
When Laurie starts to have qualms about the second murder, Jessica gives her Erica’s $100,000 check as hush money. The end.
Extra Credit
One tidy locked room mystery deserves another. If you enjoyed “We’re Off to Kill the Wizard,” I recommend The Red House Mystery by A.A. Milne.
It’s a very solid “golden age” locked room mystery, and has one or two things in common with the story we just finished. It’s very pleasantly told in the style of A.A. Milne, so it feels a bit like Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh are on the case… so, so cozy.
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